(An excursus on selfishness)

This is a very famous and very crazy story. Two prostitutes who are also roommates (it would make sense for the prostitutes to room together, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were more than just the two) give birth around the same time. One woman’s baby dies during the night, so she swaps it with the other woman’s baby. The matter eventually comes before Solomon who decides to cut the baby in half and give half to each claimant. Well, obviously the real mother would rather her baby live a full life with someone else than die in her arms, so she pleads for the baby to instead be given to the other woman. The other woman — meanwhile — consents to having the baby murdered! Solomon recognizes that no parent in their right mind would prefer to kill their own child! And so the baby is rightly given to the woman who sought to have its life spared.

This story is always touted as an exemplar of Solomon’s wisdom, as this certainly was a shrewd move by the king, but what stood out for me as I re-read this story today was the value of the child. I don’t think Solomon ever actually intended to bifurcate the child. I think he was playing a high-stakes bluff. Because he knew how much parents valued their children — I suspect mothers even more so (because they get a 9-month head-start). And this shows right thinking.

Children are deeply valued by God. The first command given to Adam and Eve was to “be fruitful and multiply”. That was the first one! God uses the paradigm of family to frame our relationship with Him. We are called CHILDREN of the Most High; sons and daughters of the Lord. When children are buzzing around Jesus, the Disciples try to move them away so He can tend to the important adults, but Jesus insists that they allow the children to stay! Even going as far as to declare that we should be LIKE THEM.

But today we see children as a status symbol. Look at the celebrities who thrust their “transgender” children into the spotlight to show how accepting and affirming they are as parents. Look at the parents who try to live vicariously through their children by forcing them into athletics, dance, acting, or whatever other activity the PARENTS love and want to be “proud of their children” for. We see parents who don’t want to go through the trauma of pregnancy hiring a womb so that they can have a child on THEIR terms, regardless of what might be best for the actual child. Down’s syndrome was nearly eradicated in Iceland… because they would screen for it and abort (read: kill) any baby who had it! This is called eugenics and when the Nazi’s used this methodology to create the “ideal” human it was rightly discredited and abhorred. But now it’s cool, I guess.

And in the same vein, we only want children when it is convenient for US. We wouldn’t want children to get in the way of our career, goals, lifestyle, or really ANYTHING that would be the least bit inconvenient. The individualism of the West has led us to this place where the instinct to become mothers and fathers is dulled and has become an afterthought to our own happiness and fulfillment (marriage is regarded much the same way). Studies have shown that people report being happier cooking, shopping, and even watching TV(!) than spending time with their kids when they get home from work.

Do you see it? It’s all about me! My happiness! I want, I need, I require! We have become our own gods, and it’s easy to tell because we worship ourselves. And we only want things that will make OUR lives better. It’s little wonder then, that when we look to God, we want to know what is in it for US. What’s the trade-off? What do I get in exchange for my time and effort? Let’s break out the scales and see if this is a good deal. Because it’s all about me. That’ll probably work out fine for the rest of your life.

But after that? The outlook is less positive. Remember: God is love (real, pure, honest love). Marriage helps us understand one aspect of that love; the part that shows a desire for commitment and unity represented in the union of Christ and His church at the end of this world. And parenthood helps us understand another aspect of that love; the part that loves unconditionally and would die without thought or hesitation to protect that child as represented in the sacrifice of Jesus for our sin at Calvary.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, NIV

Don’t be afraid to do what God has asked us to do. Take a chance and learn to love. Really love. Like Jesus did. Like God does.