This story is a famous one, which produced the Matt Redman-penned worship chorus “Undignified”. The Ark of the Covenant is finally returning to Jerusalem and there is a grand celebration. I imagine it like the arrival of Prince Ali into Agrabah in Disney’s “Aladdin”. And there is David dancing and singing and praising the God who had anointed, protected, delivered, and sustained him through countless battles and difficult decisions. Meanwhile, his first wife — Michael — is scowling from her second-floor window, then she comes down to meet David. He is wearing an exuberant grin while she accuses him of being undignified and unbecoming of a king. The last we are told of Michael comes in 2 Samuel 6:23 where she remains childless until her death.
Over the years I have continually heard how terrible Michael is here. The angry, bitter, queen of sourpuss castle. Yet, every time I read this story it breaks my heart. Here is a woman who has been little more than a political pawn her entire life. First Saul uses the promise of her hand in marriage to lure David into a situation where he will hopefully be killed (but David kills 200 Philistines), then she betrays her father to successfully help David escape… yet he never returns for her. Instead he marries two other women. So she re-marries. Then some time later David decides he wants her back, and so she is torn from the arms of her current husband in a dramatic scene that would tug the heartstrings of even the most calloused individual. This excellent article by the Gospel Coalition summarizes Michael’s life thusly:
Used. Abandoned. A victim of infidelities. Rejected. Scorned. Kidnapped. This just about sums up Michal’s life.
Lynne Moses, https://africa.thegospelcoalition.org/article/coping-with-a-husbands-betrayal-a-lesson-from-michal/
Michal did not see God’s victories. She didn’t see God’s provision. She saw a man who already had two other wives, forcefully bring her back into his home, then add many more wives again. She knew little of God and of grace and David failed her. That’s right. David failed her. This confrontation was an opportunity to see how hurt she was. How far from God. How he had not taken care of her needs (never mind paying ANY attention to Deuteronomy 17:17). David didn’t need to apologize for dancing, but he DID need to apologize for being a poor husband to his wife.
I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: David is regarded as great by history BECAUSE God used Him. Sometimes we think David was a great man. False. David was a man who was deeply flawed (as each of us are), but who sought the Lord. David did a poor job of shoring up his weak side, and we will continue to see how this becomes his downfall, and indeed even the downfall of his son.
Just because David did many good things doesn’t mean we need to give him a pass for the bad things he did. There were warning signs along the way to Bathsheba, and he ignored them. He blew through the stop sign then found himself in a wreck. It’s hardly surprising. Perhaps if he had taken batter care of his first wife, he could have finished his race with a better win-loss record.
He need to live in a way that communicates the Gospel with those we love. I would be heartbroken as a pastor if my wife and kids felt like I cared more about the church than I did about them. If they were bitter at God not because of HIS actions, but because of MINE. Let’s make sure we take care of those in our own households, too.