Tag: Proverbs

Barefoot & Pregnant in the Kitchen

There is a picture in the minds of people about the so-called “Proverbs 31 Woman”. She is quiet, reserved, raises the children, and keeps the home. And maintains a Godly disposition throughout. Frankly, I think this is based on some twisted, idealized Stepford Wife male fantasy… because it is certainly NOT what I read in Proverbs 31.

Seriously. Go read Proverbs 31:10-31. The woman described there is not some wallflower. She might be the single greatest human being to ever walk the face of the earth. Here is my list of her traits as gleaned from a quick reading of the passage:

Skilled in textiles. Skilled in agriculture. Skilled in ranching. Excellent culinary ability. Gifted in administration. Skills of assessment and negotiation. A landowner & trader. Shrewd in business. Multiple philanthropic concerns and activities. Always prepared for the foreseeable. Entrepreneurial. Well-kept and presentable. Known for wisdom. Known for kindness. Deeply observant.

If I gave you this list of skills and abilities and said it was a man no one would bat an eye. But now that we know what credit this verse is giving this superwoman, we can’t help but wonder… what’s left for the man to do? Seems like maybe he’s just a money-earner for the real manager of the household! Men! Learn your place!

Of course I am being facetious. Men have value just as women have value. But I think we cut BOTH genders off at the knees when we minimize one side of the equation. Women should not be artificially suppressed as the aforementioned “little woman”. Nor should men be seen as a human ATM simply providing for the smarter and more capable woman (a trope that shows in popular culture from time-to-time).

I don’t think it’s reasonable for men to expect their wives to have all the skills and abilities of the Proverbs 31 woman (nor it is reasonable for ladies to expect this of themselves)… because she is perfect. None of the rest of us are. But I think what we CAN take from this, is that a wide range of skills can be possessed by either men or women. My wife might have skills A, B, and C, while I have D, E, and F. Another marriage might see the wife with A, C, and F, while the husband has B, D, and E. There are an incredibly wide range of overlapping possibilities here and it’s impossible to apply a template to every marriage. Instead we all bring different strengths into the relationship and our partner will complement us by shoring up our weak side.

We should be working together. Shoulder-to-shoulder in the trenches. God gave men a much-needed partner, not a servant.

Walled Cities & Self Control

In the time of King Hezekiah’s rule all the big cities were walled. This helped with protection during a very command-and-conquest period in human civilization. Obviously these walls served a role that is difficult to overstate. This was THE primary method of defence. Just look at what happened to Jericho! How were the Israelites able to take it so easily? Because God brought the walls down. Given that this was the situation, it’s no wonder that the city walls were well maintained, often inspected, and a key part of the city’s infrastructure. It would be foolish, reckless, and even unthinkable to allow these walls to fall into disrepair. The future of both the city and her citizens was at risk of certain doom if those walls were less than perfect.

This brings us along to the portion of today’s reading that hit me hardest and that I want to share with you, Proverbs 25:28.

A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.

Do you lack self-control in one or many areas of your life? Every facet of our lives needs to be brought into submission. Every thought, even. If you are dealing with self-control issues in shopping, eating, time management, family, friends, work, etc, etc, etc then you are letting the walls of your city break down. You are leaving yourself open to continued attack from the Enemy. That area where your self-control is lacking is the EXACT place Satan will attack. It is your weakness!

So how do I shore up my self control? Great question! Here are a couple of practical tools to help you.

Maximize Self-Control

Preserve your self-control effectively by avoiding temptations. This strategy ensures you don’t deplete your reserves prematurely. When faced with cravings for food, drink, spending, or other undesired behaviors, try diverting your attention with positive activities. Go for a walk, chat with a friend, tackle household chores, or engage in any task that shifts your focus away from temptation.

Strategic Planning

Anticipate situations that could challenge your resolve. Prepare in advance for how you’ll resist temptations to maintain your willpower, even after experiencing initial depletion. For instance, if you struggle with afternoon sugar cravings, fortify yourself with a satisfying lunch rich in fiber, protein, and whole grains to stave off hunger.

Regular Exercise of Control

Like a muscle, your self-control strengthens with consistent exercise. Engage regularly in activities demanding self-discipline to enhance your willpower over time. One time I put a chocolate bar in my fridge three months before a big youth retreat. Every time I had a craving for it, I would pray for my students instead. When we got home from that retreat and I finally got to eat it, it was SO satisfying! Simple games such as “red light, green light” or “freeze dance” can instill self-control habits in children from an early age.

Focused Goal Setting

Concentrate on achieving one goal at a time instead of spreading your efforts across multiple objectives. This focused approach prevents depletion of self-control in one area from affecting others. Once behaviours become habitual, they require less effort to maintain, freeing up energy to pursue additional goals.

Prayer!

God wants to help you! Pray about those things that trouble you.

Building Good Study Habits

I was a pretty bright kid. This meant that academically stuff came pretty easy to me. It was even suggested to my parents that I skip ahead a grade. My mother declined that offer, however. And the downside to being a bright kid and having academics come pretty easily to me is that I never learned how to study… I never had to! I never had homework because I easily completed it all during class time. Then… grade 9 math hit me like a bus. I was reeling, my grades were suffering and I had no concept of studying and applying myself. It was pretty terrible. And honestly, it took until well into college before I finally figured out how to study.

It was laziness. Never needing to try meant that I never did. And that’s where our Proverb comes in today. Laziness is a hard habit to un-learn and hard work will enable you to be everything you can. But I can’t say it any better than the Psalmist:

I went past the field of a sluggard,
    past the vineyard of someone who has no sense;
thorns had come up everywhere,
    the ground was covered with weeds,
    and the stone wall was in ruins.
I applied my heart to what I observed
    and learned a lesson from what I saw:
A little sleep, a little slumber,
    a little folding of the hands to rest—
and poverty will come on you like a thief
    and scarcity like an armed man.

Proverbs 24:30-34

I don’t think I can say any better than the Scriptures, so I’ll simply leave it there today.

Exploring Themes

Today I decided to write down the overarching theme that I perceived in each Proverb. With each additional Proverb, I would consult my list, if it fit with one of the existing themes, I would add a tick mark beside it, otherwise I would write down a new theme. At the end I counted them all up.

The themes I ended up with (you might well end up with a different list with different counts if you decide to do this) were: Fighting, Laziness, Intentionality, Loyalty, Integrity, Discernment, Sanctification, Reputation, Wisdom, Giving, and Trust in God.

The winners by my count were Discernment and Integrity with 9 Proverbs each. This was a good reminder for me of the value of these traits.

Discernment allows us to pursue only those things & relationships which are good for us, which will edify and encourage us, which will make us into better people and allow us to fully step into what God has for us. You can — as Fleetwood Mac put it — Go Your Own Way, but that will not give you the fullness and satisfaction in every sphere of your life that following Christ offers.

Integrity is so critical to the life of the believer. My father used to tell me that your word is your legacy. It’s how you will be remembered. And if it is how we will be remembered, then it is also how we are known. So we say what we mean and mean what we say? Are our promises good as gold? Can people take us at face value and never be afraid. That’s how God is, and if we are seeking to be like Him, then all of the above should be true about us. Whether it’s fair or not, people judge the king by his messenger. What kind of messenger are you for THE King?

That’s my takeaway. What theme(s) stood out to you from today’s reading?

Listen First, Then Speak

Another day in the Proverbs, another day of hearing things that directly challenge and encourage me. I know people refer to the Psalms and Soul Salve, but for me Proverbs fits that bill much better. And today the theme that jumped out and struck me was about listening. About gathering information in order to make informed decisions. This is not always something we are good at, and so it becomes a worthwhile challenge to hear. From today’s passage (all renderings are NLT):

Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions. (18:2) Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish. (18:13) The first to speak in court sounds right—until the cross-examination begins. (18:17) Enthusiasm without knowledge is no good; haste makes mistakes. (19:2) Get all the advice you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life. (19:20) If you stop listening to instruction, my child, you will turn your back on knowledge. (10:27)

As James chapter 3 highlights so forcefully, the tongue has the most damage-inflicting power of any muscle in our bodies. James tells us it’s full of poison. All the more reason that we should seek council, listen to all the witnesses, and ask for what Paul Harvey would call “the rest of the story”.

As we read yesterday, there is a path that seems right to us, but is less to death. This is what we read about throughout the book of Judges! People did what was right in their own eyes and it led to horrific outcomes! If you don’t remember how bad it got, go read Judges 19 again. And then — after acting like fools — we wonder why God has abandoned us! Like we left Him behind to go our own way, and then act like it was His fault! And if we never learn to listen, we will end up in that same scenario over, and over, and over again.

People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the Lord (Proverbs 19:3)

Do I Know What’s Best?

It’s fun to look for emerging themes as we read through the Proverbs and today’s theme struck me as the very theme highlighted by a proverb appears TWICE near the beginning and ending of today’s reading. Here it is:

There is a way that appears to be right,
    but in the end it leads to death.

Proverbs 14:12 & 16:25 (NIV)

And throughout today’s reading we see that the foolish1 follow their own path and chart their own course, but instead of finding success and joy, they find destruction and emptiness. And more than that, they also hurt those around them in a sort of hurricane of destruction. We read about households, neighbours, children, parents, and even the Lord being affected by the ill-conceived, ill-informed, and ill-executed plans of the willfully ignorant. But the great irony — as Solomon points out — is that they are “pure in their own eyes”!

This is yet another example of why it is so absolutely critical that we have a brother or sister who can sharpen us and tell us when we are being big stupid idiots. Once you find a person who can tell you that your being stupid as an act of love and friendship… return the favour and never let that person go!

  1. It is worth noting that “fool” or “foolish” refers to a person who is obstinate, unyielding in their position, and without understanding. This is not someone who has been bamboozled in a moment, but represents a lifestyle of doing it “their way”. ↩︎

Choose Your Fighter

We’ve hit the point in Proverbs where there is a steady theme of widsom vs folly, but there isn’t necessarily any connective tissue from one verse to the next as this section is essentially putting forward various scenarios that contrast a wise and foolish approach. As you read through today’s passage you will undoubtedly find several of these contrasting statements that pop out to you, based on what is going on in your life and in the lives of those around you. The applicability of the Scripture never ceases to amaze me. But I think my BIG takeaway from today’s reading is this:

There are two approaches to every situation. One that is born of wisdom and leads to good outcomes. The other is born of folly and leads to poor outcomes. The former is the outworking of the pursuit of God, while the latter is the outworking of selfishness. How will you pattern your life? In the image of God, with Him as your “GPS”, or in the image of the world, with yourself as an idol?

Every situation has both path available to you. Choose wisely.

Wisdom vs Foolishness

Today’s reading has this sort of smackdown between these two personified attributes of wisdom and folly. Both sit on the rooftops, calling out to passers by. So then, while God does not withhold His wisdom, but offers it freely to those who will take it (seemingly as a part of common grace), Satan offers folly just as well. And unlike wisdom — which leads to life through discipline and hard work — folly offers fleeting good times that ultimately lead to death.

And building off of yesterday’s post, we see that those who do not take the correction of a brother or sister in the faith are not merely fools, but WICKED! Not knowing that scorning Godly wisdom is to scorn the one who offers it, and that ultimately the refuser will be the one to suffer dire consequences LATER, if they refuse the difficult rebuke NOW. Because foolishness is brash, abrasive, does what it wants, and looks only at itself. This is so much of what our culture desires. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me.

But wisdom, knowledge, good judgement, discernment, and common sense are OPPOSITE pride, arrogance, corruption, and perverse speech. We cannot participate in both at the same time. It’s one or the other. Choose your fighter.

Choose wisely.

Methinks He Doth Protest Too Much

As I’ve written about before, we tend to believe that people think about things and will react to think in the same manner that we do — this is the false consensus effect. And it’s funny to me when we watch Solomon warn so effusively about the “immoral woman” (ignoring for a moment that if you’re partaking of the activities on offer that would make you an “immoral man”) over and over and over again, yet his only recourse seemed to be ignoring the spirit of the law to fulfill the letter of it by marrying every woman he lusted after. It’s not sin if you’re married!

In the same way, if you see someone (or ARE someone) who is laser-focused on one issue and hammer it repeatedly, it is most likely because they (or you) HAVE fallen in this area or are at least deeply tempted. But this is still an opportunity! If this is happening to someone else, go to them like a brother or sister and ask how things are in that area, and if they need any prayer. And if it’s you, stop trying to put on a show and go talk to someone who can help you deal with your struggle. Don’t do it alone and don’t let your sisters and brother do it alone either.

We need to stop pretending and be honest and raw enough to admit when we have a problem and seek the help we need, or take the correction we are offered!

Knowledge is Power

We’ve all heard this adage somewhere… the first time I heard it was on the title screen of Mortal Kombat 3 for my Super Nintendo. But regardless of the source, if it’s true, it’s true. And this sentiment is echoed loudly in Proverbs 2. The NLT titles this chapter “The Benefits of Wisdom”. Here is a list:

  • Understand what it means to fear the Lord
  • Gain knowledge of God
  • Common sense
  • A shield
  • Guarded paths
  • Protection
  • Understanding of justice
  • Finding right paths
  • Watching over you
  • Keeping you safe
  • Salvation of evil people
  • Salvation from “twisted words”
  • Salvation from sexual immorality

As we look at this list, think about the things that we are told wisdom grants us. The list is not purely spiritual, but also incredibly practical. Because wisdom is not just some philosophical thought, but — as I wrote back in January:

What is wisdom? Ancients understood wisdom to be a comprehensive understanding of not just the whats, but also the whys and hows. What is this thing? How does it work? Why does it work that way? 

Wisdom gives us this understanding about ourselves. Our universe. And our God. Do you not want to be protected from the snare of evil people? And I don’t mean moustache-twirling monocle-clad villains, but people who are deceived by Satan and unwittingly pursuing a path that leads to destruction. Do you want to be trapped in sexual immorality and constantly weighed down by how poorly you feel about yourself? Do you want to know which directions to pursue and leave unexplored in life? Which will lead to heartache and disappointment, and which will lead to life and opportunity? We read 4 times about shields, protection, safety, and oversight? Doesn’t that sound awesome? Someone looking out for our best interests and protecting us from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune?

Pursue wisdom, friends. Because Wisdom is a practical protection from the attacked of Satan in this world. And we all need that!