There is a picture in the minds of people about the so-called “Proverbs 31 Woman”. She is quiet, reserved, raises the children, and keeps the home. And maintains a Godly disposition throughout. Frankly, I think this is based on some twisted, idealized Stepford Wife male fantasy… because it is certainly NOT what I read in Proverbs 31.

Seriously. Go read Proverbs 31:10-31. The woman described there is not some wallflower. She might be the single greatest human being to ever walk the face of the earth. Here is my list of her traits as gleaned from a quick reading of the passage:

Skilled in textiles. Skilled in agriculture. Skilled in ranching. Excellent culinary ability. Gifted in administration. Skills of assessment and negotiation. A landowner & trader. Shrewd in business. Multiple philanthropic concerns and activities. Always prepared for the foreseeable. Entrepreneurial. Well-kept and presentable. Known for wisdom. Known for kindness. Deeply observant.

If I gave you this list of skills and abilities and said it was a man no one would bat an eye. But now that we know what credit this verse is giving this superwoman, we can’t help but wonder… what’s left for the man to do? Seems like maybe he’s just a money-earner for the real manager of the household! Men! Learn your place!

Of course I am being facetious. Men have value just as women have value. But I think we cut BOTH genders off at the knees when we minimize one side of the equation. Women should not be artificially suppressed as the aforementioned “little woman”. Nor should men be seen as a human ATM simply providing for the smarter and more capable woman (a trope that shows in popular culture from time-to-time).

I don’t think it’s reasonable for men to expect their wives to have all the skills and abilities of the Proverbs 31 woman (nor it is reasonable for ladies to expect this of themselves)… because she is perfect. None of the rest of us are. But I think what we CAN take from this, is that a wide range of skills can be possessed by either men or women. My wife might have skills A, B, and C, while I have D, E, and F. Another marriage might see the wife with A, C, and F, while the husband has B, D, and E. There are an incredibly wide range of overlapping possibilities here and it’s impossible to apply a template to every marriage. Instead we all bring different strengths into the relationship and our partner will complement us by shoring up our weak side.

We should be working together. Shoulder-to-shoulder in the trenches. God gave men a much-needed partner, not a servant.